I'm too old for this sh*t

In which the podcast comes BACK; we have a very exciting Friday night out; I prove my old age credentials; my cat is a twat; I have a near death experience; my children are heroes; I celebrate my wedding anniversary and reminisce over the abject chaos of my wedding day; and Beth plays in the cup final.

Transcript

Hello this is Kathryn at I know I need to stop talking Hello my love's I'm back oh my goodness me it's been a month a month of no podcast and and possibly none of you have noticed by genuinely misses I've genuinely missed sitting in a corner of my house talking to myself while as well as that has happened a lot anyway but I've missed your genuinely missed you what I hadn't realised how much I didn't realise how long it had been in our lives, whether it's been a month, a month, it's the last podcast, which may have been a blessing relief, in which case I'm sorry that the silence is over for all of you lovely people, or maybe you've missed out have genuinely genuinely really missed them. I'm so sorry. I mean, I think I don't know about anybody else. I am beyond delighted that we are no longer in lockdown, but fuck me, it takes some adjusting to it doesn't it like having multiple activities in one day, and I feel like slightly at the minute like, there is just not quite enough hours in the day. And that is a lovely problem to have. Right? That is a really, really lovely problem to have. But I feel like you know, I may even need to think about recording these on a different day. Other than that, I mean, they I mean, obviously there's a perpetual standoff with with Accardo, who I'm recording this slightly early on Saturday, so so they shouldn't turn up at this time. Although knowing lovely Accardo though, they'll ring me and go we're running ahead of delivery and I'll be like, Fuck, I still haven't folded my plastic bags into thermoses. If you're new to the podcast, this is a long standing trauma of mine, that I do not fold my plastic bags into semesters. And I can tell you now if I didn't do it in lockdown, I'm certainly not going to be getting around to doing it now. But genuinely I've reduced it and like so much so much has happened. Like how the fuck is at the end of March. I appreciate that. This makes me sound very old. But it's definitely a thing when you go. I guess you get older as the years go. So we'd be March What the fuck are we in March like It's sunny. It's a genuinely sunny day. I know this because this morning, I stood on the sidelines at a football match mom which shortly and I could feel my own vagina throughout. I mean, I couldn't really feel my own vagina because it's not part of your body that you can consciously feel. But I have definitely been able to feel an absence of my own vagina. Maybe that's what we'll call this podcast episode. The absence of sensation of one's vagina. It's not very catchy title, is it? I might rephrase that. But yeah, it's, I mean, to be honest, it's another mental weekend this weekend. I'm completely honest, to be honest with you. 

So it started last night we had a very oh my goodness, we had very exciting I mean, again, I'm still in this post lockdown thing of very exciting, everything is fucking very exciting post lockdown. We have a genuinely very exciting night out last night we took the kids to their first big stadium gig which I'm trying to remember what my first big stadium gig was. thinking in my head, it was probably something far too mortifying for me to even mention that. I do know that back in 1996. I had tickets for when Oasis played at Knebworth house, which was near to I lived at the time. I had tickets. My dad got me tickets, and I turned them down. Because I'm a colossal twat. And I know what some of you will be thinking, which is that clearly blur were better than Oasis in the Battle of bands in the 90s. And that may as well be but goodness me wouldn't it be nice to say that you were there? And I wasn't there because I don't think I could be honest. Anyway, we went outside we went to the otaku arena last night and it was Mr. No need to stop talking choice a band rather than mine. Which is not to say that I wasn't very excited by gangs. I just as you all know, I love live music. I love a geek that's so loud, that like it feels like your organs are vibrating as that as internal organs as opposed to like pipe organs that you've brought along with you. I love the fact that I felt the need to specify that because because that's how we all go to gigs is with a pipe organ in our pocket for folks like me. Anyway. So we went last night to see Genesis play. Now I'm kind of I've got a mixed view on Genesis because it's just not quite my era. It's a little bit it's a little bit pre me. But I'm telling you now these these guys I mean I'll see in their in their 70s they were phenomenal. Oh my goodness me two and a bit hours without a break. Absolutely phenomenal. And the kids faces were an absolute picture. I think they're both gone with a little bit of cynicism, like you know, who's this pathogenesis? And why is dad making us go go go and see them. But fair play Phil Collins, who obviously walks these days with with a stick and you know, it's clearly quite physically unwell in terms of sort of his his ability to move and the injuries he's had over the years. I mean, he sat down for the whole fucking gig which I would just like to say it's fucking inspired. And in the unlikely event that I ever become a touring arena performer, which seems unlikely but you never know. I am absolutely going to build on that trick and sit myself down in a little swivel chair like he had what treat who wants to stand particularly in like five inch heels. Not the Phil Collins wearing five inch heels. But he could have done because he had a little swivel chair. That's that is that guy's inspired. Bravo Phil Collins. I suppose if you're a drummer, you probably do get used to sitting down at gigs, don't you? But it was absolutely genuinely amazing and the hole was brilliant. I sat next to Jamie and Phil Collins obviously can't play the drums anymore. So what's fantastic on this tour is he's got his son his 20 year old son is playing the drums inside Phil Phil Collins is doing the Michael's gonna call him Phil they're like roommates. Yeah. Phil's doing vocals. Phil Collins. His son is doing the drums he is he is up machine. I mean he's unbelievably talented, staggeringly talented. I mean, you'd hoped that you would be with someone like Phil Collins teaching us the drums we're, he's amazing. And I sort of nudge Jamie who was who was next to him. I said, you know, one day son I said, you know, I'll have you on stage with me and he sort of looked at me he looked around the 20,000 person capacity of the OTA arena. He's like yeah, me never know if your podcast really takes off. Yes, sir. If my podcast really takes off, I'll be filling the arena and your role will be what precisely because if you're going to sit there playing the fucking drums or I'm trying to record a podcast in the to arena with 20,000 people, I'll be honest, mate, that's gonna fuck me off and we laughed We laughed a lot. But yeah, it was it was jam. 

The only trouble with exciting things like that and it was genuine exciting, utterly brilliant. I am too old to stay out late now to be fair, I think I've always been too old to stay out late it was I was well renowned in our student house when I was at drama school. We regularly have parties at house because we have the nicest nicest flat out of all our all our sort of all our year group and to be clear that's still setting the bar pretty fucking low it was still student accommodation but you know it didn't have slugs actively ranking around on the floor not ranking not slugs ranking you know what I mean? Slug I fuckin ate slugs anyway. Did not slugs ranking around on the floor or whatever slugs do it didn't have active downpour in other words in actual fact it was very nice flat The only problem with that flat as a total aside we were you moved in it it just been refurbished which was why it was so nice. And my dad loves to tell the story of dropping me off this was my second year at drama school dropping me off with the with the three people that I shared with and he said you know it's a it's a really lovely flat he said I'm just going to mention the obvious he said no doors and because I was like a bit of a deck of drama student had Macau's all excited about moving into a new flat look at me and even fucking notice the minor detail that there were no doors including no front door. So my dad very practical man sort of sought out the the builders who looked like they were finishing up for the day as well. I said, lads, oh, we get to maybe think about doors and they sort of looked him like Oh yeah. Yeah, they said we'll get those sorted and my dad pushed a little harder and said maybe the front door we could sort sort out today and they kind of side at Graceman Yeah or I suppose we could sort that so thanks to my dad we had a front door and off like Yeah, yeah, so anyway, back to the parties. We used to house parties quite a lot but I was renowned for east to get to about 11 o'clock and to be honest that that was probably pushing it and I just disappear off to the bathroom had lovely bath also lovely bath and then guaranteed by half 11 midnight at the latest midnight was was pushing it for me and this is me as a student that's remember this is me a 1920 I would be absolutely asleep none of this nonsense up till three four in the morning. Anyway as I've got progressively older my bedtime it just crept earlier and earlier and I fucking love it I'll tell you what absolute treat of a Monday night if I can get into bed by half a with a good book and a cup of herbal tea. I am living the fucking dream and oh how I was gonna say how the mighty have fallen but it's very clear. I've always loved an early night now of course when you go and see a show at night goes on quite late doesn't like watching them thinking Come on. Come on guys. You're you know you're in your 70s Do you not want to get home for like slippers and some cheese on toast or something or whatever else rock and roll stars have or today that they geeks there's an cheese on toast property and the no they didn't like they kept on going anyway so I have got getting out of big arenas down to a fine art so we looked up the setlist we knew what the last song of the Encore was going to be. So we watched like the first minute of that. And then I was like, right come on, come on kids and we kind of like got up and we're sitting near the end of row again but my seats typically we were out of the arena it's quite quite fucking tracks to get out of the arena but I was thinking I don't want an hour queuing to get out of the car park that would piss me right Ronnie off so No, we weren't speedy in the car. No queuing at all. I literally felt like I met LCF automatically I mean pride comes before a fall because then there was some kind of closure on one of the roads anyway, we got back we didn't however get back until gone one o'clock in the morning which meant I got to bed about hot last one which is roughly at least three and a half hours after my ideal bedtime. And kids right? They kind of slept in sets in the car. And then I was doing that thing of I've got to get up in the morning cuz of course of course this always happens of course on the morning after you've not been able to get to bed till 130 Of course Beth's got a ridiculously early football game that's fucking miles away. So I was like can set my alarm. It's fine. I was calculating you didn't pay on Kalki okay, I'm still gonna go okay six hours sleep six hours that'll be right six hours sleep. Well it would have been fucking All right, if at six o'clock this morning my absolute twilight of a cat was chasing around what sounded like some fucking Hornet cats are so fucking stupid. Honestly. who chases a hornet you Dex you absolute dx. So then I was doing that classic thing of being awake and going I could go back to sleep for an hour but I was so angry about the fact that I was awake that I could not go back to sleep. I'm very tired and a little bit hysterical Can you tell I'm very tired? I cannot fucking wait to get to bed tonight. It's four o'clock right now. So I reckon England matches on this evening. Straight after that half a Saturday night impaired cup of tea good book rock and roll living the dream the dream but yeah, Genesis were absolutely fuckin amazing and the kids were very well, they Beth did look at me furiously afterwards and say you didn't tell me it was gonna be loud. So to me it was a it was an arena gig we're expecting she was like I thought there might have been a bit quieter. So that was that was good. 

But they should play this morning. It was an excellent match my favourite moment of the match in which Beth impressively played in defence in midfield and up front and you know was was pretty okay and in all of those positions, but he's very midfield and she attempted what would have been one of the best goals ever like it kinda she was trying to curl it in from the side and was aiming for the top left corner. She just missed it. And when I say just it kind of bounced off the corner of the goal like it was to be millimetres out and entertainingly what they missed. Is it a kind of like looking pissed off? She just she's put her hands on the head. And then she just sat down on the floor and looked at the goal and looked at me and laughed as if to say, well, the photographer did that not go in. However, this all came back to bite me because then we got back home after playing the match was that well done. You've done really well, great result, blah, blah, blah. And she said, she came in this afternoon she was out right? So we need to go down to the park now. And I really she's like, even find your park with a golden so we've got a goal in the garden. She said, Yeah, I need to I need a bigger goal and a bigger space, I want to take some long shots because I need to go and score that goal. So I've just spent on a very warm Saturday afternoon, best part of an hour chasing around after Beth's long balls, which are very long, I have run very long. I'm too fucking old for this shit. I'm too fucking old. So run around attempting to play football for an hour after I've been up to her past one in the morning and woken up at six too old, too old for this kind of shit. 

Anyway, so yeah, we've been we've been missing in action, but genuinely have missed you all so much, I have to find a more sustainable way of working these podcasts into my into my week going forward. So I'm gonna give some thought to that editor highlight. So for the last few weeks, and you know, I've kind of tried to put a few of these few of these onto the blog as well. We went away went away with my mom and my sister and the families we had like such a lovely time we went down to Dorset to a place called osmington. And when I was your age, I think at school, we went on a trip to a place called osmington Bay which like at the time I imagined was kind of like something out of Heidi high like a nice little holiday camp and you know, we did activities and it was really fun and we're having a brilliant time. Anyway, it turned out the house we were staying in was literally across the road from Osmington Bay. So I was like our kids let's go and see where Mommy went when she was at school on a school trip. So see their reaction to that was about as recalcitrant as you can probably imagine. So I dragged the money and played across the road and we gazed over osmington Bay the park the camp I'd stayed with went to me did you go on holiday in a prison? And she wasn't wrong. Like I in my head there were like jolly people and fun and sand castles and stuff and then you gaze over and it looks like a fucking prison camp. It genuinely looks like some kind of detention centre. Maybe it was it wouldn't surprise me if I was sent to some kind of detention centre. So yeah, anyway, that was the relaxing part of the weekend where because then the weekend became all about walks of near death. Now I love a walk as longtime listeners will know I love all walk. I walk just about anywhere. I probably would not choose to walk on the edge of a cliff after a period of extended rain where the footpaths are a wash and I do mean awash with fucking mud. Oh dear God. Now usually in my family. I'm the one going No, it'll be fine. We'll be fine. Come on, we can go for a walk it to be absolutely fine. This time looking down this footpath which had a very steep gradient down. I'm the one going I'm not sure this is good idea. But my it turns out the matching clearly comes from my mum and my sister because they were like, no, we'll be fine. We'll be absolutely fine. I'm fair played my sister and her husband, who will like sort of coercing and cajoling my niece and nephew who are aged two and four respectively. So fair play to them. They were carrying children as well. I thought we were going to die. I took photos of us as a family because I thought well if we fall to our deaths at least we've had a nice selfie together before we die because those are the priorities you should have. You're facing near death situations. Let's get a good selfie first, just in case. We slipped and slid. I mean Mr. IKINTST. He's got actual scarring on his arms from where he like had to like reach out into Bramble bushes to try and grab something as we were like sliding down this absolute death trap deathtrap. I have never been so more relieved to get down to the beach, awesome to be in my life. And then the awful horrendous realisation dawns that you're on the beach. It's beautiful and sunny days. Oh, it's feel so calm. And then like the only way back to civilization is back up that fucking death slide of a path. I mean, I love a walk. I did not love that walk. But then I was like, Okay, well, at least I've done like the Death sidewalk for the day. What can go wrong now? So I offered to To walk down to the co op which was about a mile and a bit away because we haven't bought any washing tablets washing machine so I was like I don't mind because clearly we needed washing top because we're so fucking covered in mud after the debt slide walk so I said I want to talk no problem I like a walk or walk anywhere. I have a hand on my hearts and I say this having done the deaths light up in the morning I have never been more frightened in my life on a walk because the the path and Google Maps was like what this way it'll be fine. Google Maps it was not fucking fine. I find myself walking on a road with no pavement but not any no pavement cuz I'm used to grew up really I'm used to walking around and no pavement it's a very narrow road. There's no pavement, there's no verges there's great big fucking bushes right up to the edge of the road isn't a lay bys. There's no path that you can walk through in the field. You are literally walking into the path of oncoming traffic for a mile and a half and hoping to fuck that they see you. I have never been so scared. And I'm sure some of you thinking what a dick. Why didn't you turn back? And in hindsight, I should have turned back it was a total dick move to keep going. But I was so convinced that Google Maps wouldn't lead me to see the trust I put a new Google Maps I was so convinced Google Maps wouldn't lead me down that unless it was a safe route to dress but I just kept expecting to find like some convenient pavement very soon listeners I did not find a fucking convenient pavement. I did find the co op thank God I was tempted to like go in and like buy a bottle of gin and neck that for walks back but instead I put a box of washing powder. The other problem was I was wearing like pretty much an all black outfit is probably still covered with mud from the death slide walk. And so I went into the car and bought the whitest brightest box of washing powder I could find and literally held it in front of myself. I mean, I don't know what I thought a 500 gramme box of washing powder was going to do in the event of some car deciding to career towards me, but it was the only protection that I had. So yeah, Dorset beautiful osmington Bay looks a little bit like a prison camp beggar for fucking walk down there they are all walks of death. But other than that, it was it was lovely. It was it was beautiful. 

The kids will continue to be delights my one of my favourite Beth moments from the last last few weeks. She was very aggrieved to find out that sports day at her school, which as you probably understand is very important to Beth given her love of sports. It was going to clash with her induction day for her secondary school when she started secondary school in September. So she kind of came to me and she said, Well, what are we gonna do about this? And I said, Well, there's nothing we can do, Beth. It's just one of the things it's unfortunate. You do lots of sports outside of school don't you, and she kind of went away like brewing over this in her head. Anyway, the next day, I picked her up from school. I said, how school she said, It's fine. She said, it's all sorted. I said, What's all sorted? She said, I said, Beth, see the head teacher. I said about what she said sports day looking at me like I was an idiot. I said, What do you mean? She said, all sports day clashed with my day that was gonna be going to my secondary school didn't nap. I said, Yeah, she said, so I went down to her teacher's office this morning and asked her to come in for a conversation and basically explain the issue. And she's gonna sort it out and true to form two days later, a note came out from school saying that due to a clash with some other some of the children's other commitments, they were going to be moving Sports Day forthwith. Beth fucking scares me. There is no way I would have had that level of competence or belief that anything would change but she walks in they're like, Of course it'll get changed because I won't be able to make it and she was right. She scares me. 

But the biggest probably event of the last last few weeks oh my goodness me last Sunday. Beth's girls team played in the county football Cup final and what a day What an absolute day. It was genuinely amazing. So they got to play in a proper stadium which I think was lovely for the girls it's the first time that they've done that so we went down with Mr. IKINTST. His dad came as well. Jamie looking like he had all of his life regrets was was dragged along with us. I mean, I did bring enough food to feed a small army so I think there was some small small consolation and we got there and you know the girls were here and we were not expecting them to win they were playing against another team who are genuinely Excellent. They're so good. They play up a year actually in terms of the league so they play play with the year above. And they were genuinely a fantastic team really lovely team to grow gets played really fair played some really great football but I've gone in kind of thinking okay what's right that they're going to lose like eight nail nine nail so you know it is what it is. and finished off time it was it was nail nail Bed, Bath and Body and like looking like she was gunning for blood she literally that was soon she got the pitch the first tackle she made this poor girl she just like it's a fair tackle. It was clean tackle, she'd knocked this guy to the ground. I was like okay, this is this is how we're playing football today clearly. And so nearly at halftime and they came back on in second half and then the opposition have definitely had sort of the run of play in the first half and they'd been looking number times like they might score and our girls just held them back. And the second half kind of almost out of nowhere. There was a throw in it came to Beth she flipped up in the air play took to one of their winners who played it out to one of our defenders who scored the most unbelievable goal one of the dads got it on video. We just keep on watching it back because it is on It is flawless it would not have looked out of place in the Premiership it is flawless it's from a mile out she scores and then the trouble you start to get hoped in you one nil up you're like, Could we do it? Could they do it? And they so nearly dead but ultimately just before time they went they lost to one. But you know what their head stayed up. I mean, Beth, I've got the most glorious picture of Beth and I know I don't share photos of the kids on the blog and nor will I but I would just love to show you all this this picture because I got it it's a photo of her like she went out to get her runners up medal and and she was beaming from ear to ear like the whole day she loved every single second of it. And she went up and I was sat in the stands just above my snap this photo of her she just she looks radiant. She looks absolutely radiant. And then they and then they weren't you know kind of went off when we got back into the car and you know Jamie by this point was was literally had all of all of life's regrets boring. Everything missed out on a day with his girlfriend. Don't have fucking phone battery as well. You'd have to actually talk to the head to actually watch the game. And he's usually pretty scathing about his sister's football he keeps her in track is like no it was very good. They got back in got back to the carny he turns Beth he said well I said it was a shame you didn't win get to the point make good point yeah good good good to the to cut to the quick show you didn't win. So it was a shame real shame that you didn't when he said and then it's like tones over surprise in his voice he said but you know what birth he said. So actually, so he probably the best player on the pitch and her face was radiant, absolutely radiant. So it wasn't the result that we wanted but it was a cracking error football both teams acquitted themselves amazingly, you know, absolutely deserved to the winning team or best team should be incredibly proud of themselves. And Jamie What an absolute what absolute fucking legend he puts up puts up with a lot he puts up with a lot he is he is a superstar. I've just literally this is like live live from my houses as I'm podcasting. He's just messaged me. He's so good. He's letting me know that he's about to get the train. He's out with his girlfriend today. He knows that I'm the ultimate helicopter parent I just panic all the time. So he's very good he sent me a message saying that they're about to go on the train when it would be fucking better if he can actually keep his phone battery above more than 5% Nothing like living on the edge but they're there they're just about to get on the train he's a good boy he's such a good boy. 

So now I'm off really to finish the rest of this already box weekend with with tomorrow which is promises to be absolutely fucking batshit I mean we have the combined delights tomorrow of Mother's Day It's also my wedding anniversary and it's also because the fucking clock change people addicts it's fucking clock change day isn't it losing fucking hours sleep like I haven't lost enough hours sleep people losing an hour sleep on Mother's Day What fucking dick move what a dick move and of course bets got football, which of course means that it's not that early kick off but it bloody well will be once the clocks have gone forward foxhole clock change people very unreasonable. So it promises probably actually to be about as much abject chaos as my wedding day 16 years ago, 16 years ago, so long time isn't it? I mean, my wedding I think I've recounted on here before but it was it was an abject chaotic delight from start to finish radius as befits me I think probably Mr. No need stopped talking probably found yourself wondering what the fuck he was marrying into because it was absolutely batshit We got married in the Lake District. We don't live anywhere near the lake district but it's one of my favourite parts of the world. So we got married in the Lake District. It was March so it pushed it down which was absolutely fine. We've got loads of pictures of everybody looking very, very soggy outside was standing a little bigger, but loads of great pictures of lots of my guests not understanding about the wind direction so they're trying to throw confetti and it's all literally flying back in their faces highly entertaining. I mean, I woke up on my wedding day. I was still pissed for the night before because I had ignored my mum's very sensible advice to why don't you go to bed you'll feel feel tight. Again, we already know um, somebody doesn't like to stay up past 10pm So how it was that one Ahem. On the morning of my wedding day my mom very sensitive and I love you for doing this because the wedding day would have been a whole lot worse if you hadn't came very nicely said it's time for bed everybody so my friends and I went to bed. I got up on my wedding day still pierced and drank a can of Red Bull in the bath while getting ready. And if that isn't the epitome of a classy bride, I frankly don't know what it is. I mean fucking our poor Mr. I know I need to stop talking. I was nearly late because I trusted my best friend in the world. James who was booking, app hauling when it comes to timekeeping. He had come up he'd been ill the night before so he was he was driving up with his with his then partner now husband, and they were late because James was late because he'd forgotten stuff. So they arrived to pick me up late from one end of the Lake District to drive me to the other end of the Lake District. My other friend Tim brilliantly had I think not concentrated. I love you to him. If you're listening to this, I don't think you'd concentrated had not read the right venue for the day of the wedding had read the venue that we were meeting in the day before. So like 15 minutes before the wedding text music I'm here Where are you all? We're at the other end of the Lake District him so he then describes some terrifying journey across the mighty kirkstone Pass old cuts and passes legendary with a mad taxi driver while Tim was trying to like change into his wedding suit in the back of the taxi never ceases to entertain. May will forgive him therefore for them despite he was in charge of music he was in charge of music as a small wedding we only had 40 people so he was in charge of music. And I said to him before the ceremony started because back in the day we were in CDs were in CD land I said don't just let the CD start because the track I want is very nice and lucky and you know romantic and moving and the first track it was the Paul Simon's Graceland album The first track is like you can call me out which I Love You have called me out but it's not the song you want coming blasting out as you're about to waiting register so we're they're waiting on like content track nine track nine track now and then the dulcet tones of you can call me out and bless you and I remember having you know looked I think we'd be nice and you know, having sobered up in my dress. I remember screaming down the hall like some fish was trapped in that nine track nine. Um, but it was it was perfect. It was abject fucking chaos and it was completely completely perfect. Remember, James James was playing the piano my friend James is a very very talented pianist. He is playing the piano at the venue and because he'd been able the night before he said, You know, I just like a Diet Coke and very posh hotel and they had those you know, there's little little cans of coke that you can get. Which you know, I would normally have to count it into a glass and served but they obviously decided that one little camera isn't enough so they got two little cans and then they wanted to pour into glass but with ice it's too much of the glass so you could always see kind of like the panic the cogs were wearing which is how chambers came to be playing the piano a gravy boat full of Diet Coke on top of it because obviously we're gonna put it to the junk they didn't have a job they improvise they found a gravy boat I mean that there's nothing says true love like Diet Coke in your gravy boat. But yeah, it was genuinely genuinely perfect and yeah Happy Anniversary Mr no need to stop talking you do put up with an awful fucking lot. 

I mean we thinking tomorrow with suddenly all of those of you who struggled with clock changes because I hate your sisters. I hear you I'm also going to be thinking of all those of you who for whatever reason, Mother's Day is is a tough day. It's not always an easy day and I know lots of people that I know and love very dearly for him tomorrow is going to be a really tough day so I send you send you loads of love I really do. And personally you know, I have no expectations for Mother's Day because I think it's you know, it shouldn't be commercialised but I am waiting to see if Jamie can can beat his his offering to me last year which was a oh shit I forgotten it's Mother's Day so he went and found a piece of a4 paper folded it in half. No drawing on the front no cover row inside mum. Happy Mother's Day from Jamie Nothing says true love like a card like that living the dream. Right? I'm going to go to bed I mean not quite because it is only just gone four o'clock but if I thought I could get away with it, I absolutely would want to offer the shit. have lovely weeks my love's take care. I will hopefully see you very soon. Lots of love. Bye bye